On Fountainhead

I am thankful to Ayn Rand for creating Roarks character..i keep coming back to it..it is an inspiration.My feelings for Roark is best expressed by quoting a line from the book itself. Steve Mallory to Howard Roark ( not in exact words but something like) " I am thankful to you .. not for what u did for me...but for being what you are. Its enough that you exist". Well said!
But this post is not about what i liked in the book, i want to jot down some stuff that i dont agree or didnt understand.


1. I do not understand the contradiction in Gails personal conviction and his behavior. Umpteen times in the book, he's gushing to Dominique or Roark about the supreme in human spirit. He gives this interesting quote about nature vs man. He says he's not afraid of the vastness of the sea, rather he thinks of ships that sail through those vacant places, to the tall, uncrushable mountain, the answer is dynamite. The view he loves best is not in nature but New Yorks skyline - made by man. Cool! i loved that. Then why does he set out to destroy the people who make all this possible? All his life, he has been destroying people who had something original to give to the world. There are para's written about how he tempts/threatens scientist, journalist...and after buying them out forces them to abandon their pursuit. Ayn Rand explains Gail was after power...he cannot take the thought there could be someone on whom he cant exert power. Fine again. But the question is why would Gail WANT to change them...when he should have liked them..no?


2. I have a problem with Roark raping Dominique. Okay, Dominique wanted self humiliation but Roark didnt have to comply.


3.Okay, Dominique wanted self destruction but why should she seek Keating and Gails help? Keating was a third rate architect but why should he put up with a cold, frigid wife? Then sample this, to reach heights of self destruction, Dominic offers herself to Wynand, corruptness incorporated,to get a commsion for her third grade architect husband. O.K!Then why not get the act complete and real? I mean what was she thinking when telling Wynand that her husbandis third grade architect or that she doesnt care for Wynand also. Not very consistent, in her effort to self destruct, in my opinion.


4. I do not understand Roarks weakness for Gail. Roark who didnt mind being expelled from University, didnt care working in a quarry, never noticed Tooheys bitter campaign is now telling in the later chapter to the grand-daddy of them all - that his ( gails) appreciation MATTERS to him. I am honestly disappointed. The author explains by making Roarks character tell this to Gail - ' you dont live on second hand thoughts'. Great! So it doesnt really matter what i do as long as my thoughts are original.


5. I think Tooheys role as kingmaker is exaggerated. we see in later chapters how Wynand realises he cannot mould public opinion just because he owns the paper ( i am surprised he could make that mistake given the worldly wise man he's supposed to be). Going one step further, i would say - neither can Toohey mould opinion. Ordinary people ( and am one of them) dont have time for ism's. All those lengthy debates on collectivism vs individualism or the subtle insinuation/plugging with 'Gallant gallstone' liners do not go far. Not many people read newspaper to FORM an opinion, even less number read it to review their opinion.

Why - " Notes to myself"

I created this blog to be able to comment in a site which did not accept anonymous users. The blog needed a title. Since I don’t have a gift for originality, I chose this title ‘Notes to myself’ from a book with the same name.
It is one of those books which can change the way we view our lives.It is a collection of discrete thought pieces penned by the author ( Hugh Prather) as he goes through trials and tribulation of life.
The focus of this diary is not on narration of incidents from his life…infact he doesn’t provide any personal detail, except the bare minimum where it is necessary to understand the context. Each thought piece is a truthful portrayal of his mind for a very brief moment. So he notes down how each thought and consequent feelings emerge , criss cross and change his mind from one state to the other – all in one brief moment. And he does this self observation with complete honesty. So there’s no glossing over of petty feelings, no attempt to theorize or conclude, no carefully thought out ‘intelligent’ afterthought.
Rather what you have is an impassive observant second self which catches the original mind trying to suppress some inconvenient thought or aimlessly go round and round in cycles of same thought or trapping himself in some emotion. Most of us do this, some more conscious of it , some less. But the kind of awakened awareness that the author displayed is rare.
And with this awareness comes the joyous realization that our mind can be in our control, that we can stop the mental clutter and aimless chatter if we want to, that we can be happy despite the circumstances and despite the hopeless, irresponsible, fully controlled lives that we may have lived till now – there’s hope for change.